When living with foster parents/relatives/guardians, it is important that you remember conflict is normal. Here are some tips for working through the conflict, anger, hurt and misunderstanding that create problems in relationships.
In the midst of an argument we sometimes say things we don’t mean.
- Take 20 to 30 minutes or as much times as you need to cool off.
- Plan to talk later when you are calm and ready.
- Jot down your reasons for being angry or write a letter to your caregiver. Some of us express ourselves better in writing.
- Avoid name calling; remember that once you say something, you can’t take it back.
- If you said something you feel bad about, take responsibility for it and let your caregiver know that you were angry and didn’t mean to be hurtful.
Before you ask to be moved from a home where you and your caregiver find yourselves in conflict, take a minute and think about what it would be like for you and your baby to move yet again. It might be hard to find another home for the two of you that is any better.
If you feel like you and your caregiver can’t talk without arguing, try asking someone else in your life for advice. This could be your social worker, your lawyer, your advocate, a counselor or any other adult you trust. If you and your caregiver are both willing it might be a good idea for the three of you to sit down and try to come up with a good way to work things out.